think think think~~~

has been almost a year nv been japan...and more than 4years never been suzuka..this time round..the feeling is not bad in the way..study trip is always boring and tiring..anyway..since boss asked us to do so lan lan we have to do also...not only for them...we also can learnt alot..hope so...unfortunately...the timing is rush in sic and thus i cannot meet my ong san...well...call to him just now and we sharing each other..how's going especially the job...i think in the world he is only one who can really understand me and really know how to cheer me up...find the job slowly...no rush...be patient...everything will be fine...the worst thing i go bk malaysia la..if really really cannot find...not die or live..yah..is true...ha~~ i think many of u did talked these to me..but...in the way..i dunno y..i really love to listen his opinion...he is the one who i really respect and appreciated...i learnt from him...talk like him...do like him...of cos la..i am not him..he is more greater..even now he also kena...hahaha...ong san....taka care la...c u in scm...hopefully...hahaha...
well...yesterday is one of my colleaugee last day....well...even i am not really like him but somehow...i have learn something from him...hopefully...one day i can plan like him...actually this is what i lacking..or i was unwilling to plan ahead...lazy pig...i think most of the time i am just too lazy to think about my future...honestly...well....i had started to force me to think since last year...i can't jz dumping my life like shit...i hv family..i need more and more plan....become me...become someone who is really great and capable...at least i have to become a good husband and good daddy....:) cheer up!!!!

japan trip...

it was always happening..after my india trip last week..i will continue to my another trip which is fly to Japan Suzuka..not much feeling...doesn't excited..actually i am abit down..i think after i married...everytime when i going to oversea...i will really really miss my wife seriously....the feeling is getting stronger after my charmaine borned...hooo...maybe this is call love...maybe i already fall down to my family warm hug...wish to kiss my wife n daughther indeed...somehow..not only miss them..but also wife is going to deliver soon...hmmm...she is really tired..still need to work...need to worry abt her husband career...need to take care of family...this is all i can't stand...maybe i am too soft..sorry my dear...loei...i promised..i will love u forever...forever...

钱2

今晚和蕾本来想看Mummy3, 但因为时间上配合不来，结果就看了梁导的钱不够用2，影评人的观后感可说是恶评如潮，无论如何，我们还是选了这部电影。 因时间关系，我们错过了影片首10分钟的开场，不过对于我来说，这无关紧,因为这部电影比起其他如具有梦幻色彩的新加坡本土电影来的更加实际，本人也不是专业的， 只是，电影情节也常发生在我身旁，辉哥的演技在 （钱2) 里发挥的淋漓尽至，木纳的他把大哥的角色窜摩的很好， 而国煌感觉上就像演回自己，梁导这绿叶就有综合的作用，还有如萍姐，明珠姐妹， 还有不得不提的黎明这位老戏骨，母亲，就是那样伟大，她是电影里的灵魂，只会付出，不求回报，甚至把所有的所有都给了下一代，对于刚当爸爸两年的我来说，这绝对是感同身受的， 这部电影其实也点出了下一代的教育问题，也许政府因该考虑恢复‘morale’了吧！另外还有对于‘孝’的诠释，在很多英语环境里长大的人来说，这是多么的陌生， 也只有在后悔之后， 在能真正了解什么是‘树欲静而风不止，子欲养而亲不在’，还有歌词，句句一针见血，刺进了每个人的心理，最后，还有对现代人的解说，自私，圆谎， 找借口，统统都来。
这部电影呢, 煽情却让人动情，夸张缺也不是真实，梁氏笑话， 好电影，是能够打进人性，打入人心， 感动。

1st day

ooo..after 2 weeks in India, today finally i came back for work..evcerything seems no big changes but feeling abit strange..well..cannot tell what happen..because i also dunno..somehow recently my mouth is very li hai...talk anything anything will happen...haha..so better not talk so much on these...recently sent alots of resume...already felt that really cannot stand in this company...somehow..in the way..stil waiting....good news is coming soon..but jia lat...i write so obviously...dunno who will be saw in someday..
well..first day...seems alot of things hv to done ...as boss not around..think should be able to make it la...hehe....

bye bye gurgaon...

yeah! tmr will be going back to Singapore...can meet my daugther....and my wife...i also dunno what i am doing for past 9days...thinking so much of bad things...:( maybe recently really stress alot...not only work but also family...as well as personal..just wondering why i cannot really optimize my mind....can't think positive..well...that's life...how to overcome it..have to depend on me....no one can help..

ha...today VP called me and wash me up side down...dunno when she bcome so streeful...like peanut...maybe she no that mean but she did...do as a team...i know everyone is busy...but...haha..dun talk...later got misunderstanding...

this week hv to bring my wife for check up...my baby 8months already...2more month..i'll become father again....congratulation me first la...

next week....dare not to think next week..what a streeful week...haizz...me is stress..colleague is stress...boss is stress..everyone is stree.....GARHHHHHHH.....left me alone and give a break....

tks

本质

这辈子，我做错了很多，我忘了当初的我是怎样的一个人，多年以后，我慢慢地回想起来， 当初的我，很孤独，孤僻。。。而我也喜欢孤独， 我忠于我的想法， 我的追求， 我不奢望我会是夜空中的的月亮，我只希望能够成为那颗星， 闪烁， 但不刺眼， 微弱， 但却源远流长，和我的性格一样，低调，不爱出风头， 多年以后，进入的社会， 进入了人群， 慢慢地， 我抛弃了我， 我盲目的追求， 追求别人的想法， 也许是当初的孤独让我害怕而辗转的只会依附他人的想法，变相的成为没有主见，只会点头说是的人，渐渐的， 我忘了当初我是谁。

虚荣腐蚀我的人格， 贪念吞噬我本性，随和也被自私取代，人吗！ 本质就是这样， 而我也应该这样，我的理性被我的野性所主宰，这些年来，我都无法依照自己想要得来进行，随后，我变得很情绪化，大喜大悲，有时连我都不清楚，我的下一步该如何。

这让我付出了很大的代价， 我失去了很多很多，我不能怪任何人，也不知如何的怪自己，悲~我变得很悲观，也让我失去了工作上的竟争力，而工作上的瓶颈让我对很多事情无法适从， 也许我真的需要的是一个新的环境，让我可以从新站起来。

怎样的能好好规划我的人生，我的家庭， 我的未来，如何让我回到我自己， 如何让我掌握。 也许， 只有天知道。。。。。

leadership....

yeah man...still left 2more days...time fly...i am here almost a week liao...do for nothing but at least got some infor can report to boss lo...notice tat this few days in office got alots of happening..now the office is very very low morale...really feel like demotivated...haizz..why always bad thing was happen in our office de le...since everyone js want to do to thier gd job...just trying the best..none appreciate never mind..but dun try to bullshit..i was really felt those ppl who really irritating...mayb they are gd..high post...but...they should try to understand what we nid...not guess...dun listen from someone...sometwo or somethree...doubt to us...this is really bad..
Everybody got thier own circumstances...when u bcum a leader....not jz thinking to climing higher post..or not jz think to kick out someone that u dun like...you nid to upgrade ur team to better....when talking a team...is not 1man show or 2man show...everyone is contribute where the goal is achive...hit or even overshoot the target...
well..of cos..at this moment..i am not a leader.....haha...
oh yah...to my dec 03..remember...no matter how....i'll always be here with u...support u..boh bian...we all borned in dec 03...

silver day.......~~

so down...malaysia lost the gold metal...tot that at least there is a 'dragon strike tiger fight' but eventually....haizzzz...~~our player totally cannot compete to lin dan...he seems like amateur...too stress? well..past is past, anything must be look forward...hmmm..today went to few places..eat dehli to south dehli...especially today visted a bicycle street called chandni chowk..hmmm...is really interesting...can u imaging over the street there is more than 400shops..but only 15shops is retail and the rest is wholeseller? well..no doubt..one of the shop owner told me these...this street is similar to philippines kaphur (forgot the spelling), but this side is bigger...heard that there is another similar street in south dehli...next time feel free will visit...oh yah...hv to prepare the material...when can finish le........i want to escape...

today..

lalala...finally for digital cam...finally can take some photos..otherwise tmr dealer visit dunn how liao...so far the function of this dig cam quite good...response also fast..hehe...today settle up some job..send some e-mail...report to boss...ha~~ quite busy huh...but today quite late take the lunch...thinking if staying here...1 day hv to spend 30-50 jz for meal...wah...expensive man..but boh bian..for healthy...for safety..
oh yah..today olympic badminton final...malaysia vs china...malaysia boleh...lee chong wee jia yu!!!

gurgaon shopping...:))

dunno y...after botak left, seems like he brought all the rain back to Singapore, the weather become dry and hot...anyway...who cares...after return from office, today first time when to shopping in Gurgaon alone, initial abit kia kia because yesterday is India 61years old..so everywhere the security is super tight...scared got bomb...somemore the mall that I went is the india largest shopping mall...called ambeance mall...walao...!! ...well, few months ago i been here with botak..alot of shop haven't open, but today..wow...almost 80% are rental out...haha..lucky today...the mall got indipendents day's sales...ai seh man....eh..bought a digital cam...as mine one already broken moreover next few days still need to visit dealer..so....boh bian la..but is a new model....around 300...got free gift..a watche and a 1G SD card..so buy la...since needed...besides also bought a leather shoe...cheap cheap man..only S$30++ nice design...hehe..vp..next time come la...mostly all the world branded are here....hehe...

haha...bahasa...

today my botak are leaving, go bk home sweet home...sianz...leave me alone today...faced 4 walls...sianzz x 10...luckily today met 2malaysian during bf.....haha...when fist i saw them i already notice they should be from either singapore or malaysia...t-shirt, short pants, with carry newspaper..haha..this is icon for us..too bad..they malay..so hv to using my almost rusty's bahasa malaysia talk to them...hahaha...perhaps they can understand..:P..this is the 2nd time i met malaysian in india...1st time is in delhi...Lotus Temple..they are a group of malysia students..study medical in india..haha...so happy to met ppl from homtown..wish to meet more la...hv to work liao....

peanut butter..

it almost 12.00 in singapore already...time fly..1 day gone...today mi n botak talked alot..has updated him the office situation...feeling like the peanut has back 2-3 year ago pattern...prata and prata n prate...non stop prata..every sec prata...haiz...recently jz feel that he changed alot..but ..haha....in chinese there is a sentence...the dog cannot change the habit to eat the shit...maybe he thinking that he has sacrified and fight alot for us already..y no one appreciate to him...so i think these few days he will remain moody...else his split office plan was pending....ha...not going to guess..this is non our buz n our responsibility...alots of happening these few days..but doesn't think too much these few days..mayb already realised think too much also cannot change the fact liao..
seems like month 7th many stucks..alot of us kena washing...hv to ask my mum pray hard tomorrow....really..sometime hv to believe on this...

dehli..

3hours ago...finally arrived delhi...very tired, bcoz last9 went back to malaysia and came out today..moreover my charmaine is crying whole the night :)) she is denied to give her a candy..but when i think deeply...i realised that actually she cying is not bcos of candy..is bcoz she miss us very very much...yesterday when we bk..mum told me sometin that caused my tears rolling in my eye..so touching...remember on sunday when we go to singapore..everytime loei will make her slp b4 we go..but when next day....when she wake up and after that she stand infront the door...not cying but said bye bye to her parents...mimi bye bye...papa bye bye....wow...i really really...dunno how to describe..but i really appreciated she's understanding...:(( to hv a daugther like her...i dun hv any regret liao...anyway...today when came here... dunno y...i can't even close my eye even i felt damn damn slpy...i miss my daugther so so much!! as well as my loei...she is pregnant...how wish i can accompany her and charmaine...how wish i no need to worry our future...how wish...haha..so many wishers...when can come true le...

机遇，天时， 地利， 人和。。。

看着熟睡得恩， 带着不忍有无可奈何的心情，昨晚，我和蕾又回到了这里, 还记得前几天接了那个电话之后, 他的邀约让我这几天来心理总是犹如十五个吊桶打水-七上八下的，当然，心理还是有几分兴奋且期待， 一直以来， 我都很认真地考虑这问题，蕾总是说我只是一时之气， 而我也是这样认为，因为内心的我仍然存在着一份难以割舍的感情，一份牵盼，一份期待被认同的盼望， 也许是命运作弄吧！ 无论我如何的努力，决也无法达到他的要求， 我想是他对于我的期望太高了吧，我真的希望是那样的，这样安慰着我自己，只是我并不知道， 所谓的标准， 是根据个人（还是他个人？）还是整个团队。
如果有一天我离开，会是怎样的一个情景呢？应该没多大改变吧。 我常说，公司不会因一个人的离去而有很大的改变，日子还是要过，时间也不会停留。这是事实。很多时候，要走要留也半点不由人啊！时机永远是改变一切的重要元素，还有两个小时。

老石头随笔

每个人的内心都有一个底线， 当有人或事踩过着条底线的时候， 一些意想不到的是总会在这时候发生；
有好有坏， 但坏的还是居多，我不能够容忍有人一次又一次的当我是扯线玩偶一样，任人摆布。 我微笑不代表我能容忍。 今天和朋友谈了很多，从公事到私事，发觉原来外在的一些并不是那么的完美，对的时候做对的决定才是更重要的，现实很残酷， 但现实也很美好，就看你如何对待他。 残酷的现实会让人更加的坚强， 美好的现实让你能有憧憬能更好的规划未来，一时的残酷能得到坚强的你， 就看你如何看待了。
我其实很喜欢发牢骚， 很喜欢让每个人听我发牢骚，我是个直肠子通到底的人，不会掩饰我的言语。 但慢慢的， 这种方式让我一次又一次的受伤害，我曾想过人是为自己而活，世界不会因你的改变而有所改变，不过现实嘛！就是要改变，因此我的表面功夫做的愈来愈好， 哈! 而有所谓公关关系很好。
最近情绪很不稳定， 很有那种山雨欲来风满楼的感觉， 不知何时会爆发。 昨天的电话让我的那股‘想要’的冲动的火苗又被点燃了， 也许应该考虑考虑的， 男人嘛！三十而立， 四十而不惑， 五十而知天命， 六十而耳顺。。。哈哈！！ 不想到了所谓的七十才开始， 那时人老珠黄， 谁还要啊！
今天是百年难得一见得日子， 08 08 08， 好吧， 就让大家， 定发定发定发！

wonder man.....

wondering that life is it must be suffering alots of problems...den u can enjoy the hapiness...seriously....i understand we need comparison..den can know what's bad..and what's good...many ppl talk about life...everyone gave their point of view...but end up...what is what?? what is life? this morning talked to a taxi uncle..he drive as a part timer...he owned a house in Tioman and every month he will go there to relax...wow!! what a wonderful life..but..is it really that wonderful? what's his family? I understand he is happy with currently..but does he because due to some reason? what's he short in his life?hmmm..nice topic...

wedding dinner.......:)))

hmmm...so far today is quite smooth...no big issue today....boss request all can done....hehe...this afternoon just thinking my agents seems quite long time never call me up liao...den my phone suddenly ringing..walao...they ask me to eat wedding dinner....haha...is a wedding dinner that i attend b4..den i said ok lo..but quite hard the ang bao money is not very good..hehe....when knock off..in the bus..haha...the wedding organiser suddenly called to my hp...asking whether still work in same company or not...bla bla la...den le..he suddenly whether interested to attend wedding dinner not...offered me AM...hahaha..i said c how la...let's c first..all the best to me la..::))

all the best..

shit...just now i wrote all cannot post...dunno y..maybe due to month of 7th...many good brothers around..so better dun write too much....sorry about that ah......so heard that i may going to japan again...hmmm....thinking to spend more time with my family..but may not able to enjoy liao..but luckily got replacement date la...hehehe....today...full of shit again..hai...not mention la...since so many shit already...:( oh...this weekend hv to go bk malaysia..thinking some way...hehe..u should know my way...haha.....all the best la..

engineer

nowaday was quite busy to preparing the material for my technical training in India..too many things need to prepare..bicycle...tools..parts...and more....walao....make me like i am really a engineer...even i am admin student...:))
i forgot to writing something...i remember this morning le...why ah..think my age not allow me to think too much...hehehe....anyway...today going to JP with loei again...as usual...we went to Kiddy Palace...i bought a pillow for my charmaine...heheh...she growing up liao...the small pillow that we bought last time also can't fit well liao..nowaday ah...parent's money is most easiest to earn liao...small small think 20dollar....walao.....but boh bian la...this is parents act..hahaha...

bkk,,,,

recently dunno y feel so sleepy..maybe at night so many activities liao...hv to massage my dear's legs...put the massage creams..also play the game..thinking of my job..my financial...so sianzzzzzzz....anyway...today joanne inform me a good news...my TARMAC finally come liao...hehehe....next step hv to build up my parts...so shioks!!!
oh yah...this weekend my gals in office will going to bkk ...dunno how far they can go...char siew bao already said she dunno how wild and crazy she will go..musroom and da bao also plan to buy whole bkk to singapore (richer than siao long bao????)
also my dearest siao long bao...do take care when u coming back la..hv a pleasent flight.....hehehe....